Wisdom Listens

“That you may be strong, be a craftsmen in speech. For the strength of one is the tongue, and the speech of one is mightier than all fighting.” – Ptahhotep In the twenty years that I have been in Toastmasters, I have had the opportunity to evaluate hundreds of speeches presented by my fellow club members. Giving critical feedback helps a speaker understand what they did well and what they can work on to improve. A good evaluator balances being helpful and encouraging while providing an honest reaction to the speaker’s presentation. Giving an evaluation in Toastmasters is an improvised activity that is given in three minutes or less and takes practice and excellent listening skills. The ability to listen is a fundamental skill that has been essential to human communication since the dawn of civilization. Offering helpful ideas on what you heard, felt, and thought about the speaker’s presentation can be enhanced by the way the speaker uses their vocal intonation, body movements, facial expressions, and use of words. Engagement through the transferring of an emotion to your audience is key. There are not any courses on listening, only speaking, however the wisdom of listening has a long history. Kim Monson Show Sponsor Roger Mangan State Farm Insurance In ancient Egypt in the late 25th to mid-24th century BCE, lived a city administrator and vizier (first minister) to the King of the Old Kingdom. His name was Ptahhotep and his sayings were transcribed as one of the earliest known pieces of philosophy and wisdom. Written in an ancient hieratic style, this compilation is considered the oldest collection of moral advice and virtue practices. In his book, “Instruction of Ptahhotep,” are his timeless maxims that not only benefit a Toastmasters evaluator, but anyone in school, business, politics, or non-profits who wish to improve their success by listening. Here are just a few of his ideas: “Listening benefits the listener.” “Only speak when you have something worth saying.” “He who listens becomes the master of what is profitable.” “To listen is better than anything, thus is born perfect love.” “God loves him who listens. He hates those who do not listen.” “If he who listens, listens fully, then he who listens becomes he who understands.” “If you are a man of authority, be patient when you are listening to the words of a petitioner. Do not dismiss him until he has completely unburdened himself of what he has planned to say to you.” Ptahhotep’s maxims on listening were derived from a lifetime of experiences and taught ethical and moral guidance to young men and nobles in dealing with human interaction and governance. His words taught humility, justice, and truth by avoiding unnecessary arguments and practicing self-control. Learning not to immediately respond and asking clarifying questions to let the speaker know you were listening can pacify a tense or contentious situation. This is sage advice which works well in most interactions, such as when you are trying to persuade others or have an audience accept your position. Hearing critical feedback can be difficult and makes one feel exposed and vulnerable. It can make a world of difference to one’s speaking abilities if they are open to a peer’s observations. This happens with trust and empathy when giving an evaluation. There are many ways to give feedback, and the most often used in the Toastmaster’s process is referred to as “the sandwich technique.” This entails offering praise on what a speaker does well and encourages them to do more of it. Next, suggest ideas on ways to improve or do something different. Then, offering some closing praise to encourage and help the speaker feel good about their presentation. The beginning and the closing of an evaluation are like slices of a loaf of bread, smooth and rounded. The middle is the meat of the evaluation and where the growth can occur. Personally, I like the “manure method” of evaluation which is the opposite of the first. Since I am a more experienced Toastmaster I am looking for brutally honest comments, therefore I encourage an evaluator for my speeches to give me “the stuff that rolls downhill.” Then, observations on what I did well. Finally, more of the “stuff that hits the fan” to help me grow faster. With a speaker’s permission one can also record a video so a speaker can watch and study their process. One’s tolerance for hearing truthful feedback determines which evaluation structure is best for a speaker. I believe it is the listener/evaluator who mostly gains from this process by artfully using their active listening skills and observations to help the speaker advance and improve. The listener/evaluator must incorporate all their faculties such as hearing, observing, feeling, and connection to the content of the speaker. Ptahhotep’s maxims combined with these Toastmasters techniques are useful for anyone who wishes to be a better listener and communicator. The musician and guitarist Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”