I Remember When...

This time of year, when we gather with family and friends for the Thanksgiving holiday, with gratitude for the blessings of liberty, we often tell and share old stories about long ago personal escapades. Those stories tend to start with, I Remember When. I remember when my mom would say, “go outside and play.” Her only directive was “don’t get into trouble and be home before the streetlights come on.” I think she did this to get her rambunctious boys out of her house. It was Leave it to Beaver incarnate. The dead-end street in our neighborhood included eight 1960’s houses with twenty-four kids of diverse backgrounds which included Hispanic, Japanese, and Caucasian descent. There were Catholics, Christians, Buddhist, and Jewish kids. We all got along, seldom having physical fights. There were always kids to play with in our suburban setting and even more down the block and around the corner. My brother and I would gather with the neighborhood kids after school and play football or baseball on our dead-end street. Often, we would play dog-pile on someone’s lawn, hide and seek, or end up in someone’s garage playing blind man’s bluff. When we were kicked out of one garage for being too noisy, we would find another garage or yard to play in. Other times, we played in the open field next to the neighborhood building forts with dirt clods. We would stack these hard, round clumps of dirt to build a defensive wall. After a short while someone would yell, “dirt clod fight” and the hard clumps would fly in battle trying to knock down the walls with the kids behind them. When a wall fell due to a direct hit it would tumble down. Someone was always hit by a barrage of dirt projectiles in the back, especially if they were trying to run away. Not the smartest game to play since occasionally someone would get beaned in the head and draw blood. That just added to the realism of the fight. Bactine and Band-Aids became a badge of honor. We did not have to go to exotic places to battle; we explored the outside world through our imagination. We chose sides and pretended to fight monsters, play pirates, shoot at enemy army men, cops and robbers, and cowboys and Indians. We defended our homeland and responded with dirt clods as our weapons of choice since we could only pretend to shoot our enemies with our stick guns. One day someone had the bright idea of getting a shovel and started digging trenches in the clumpy dirt. Another kid sneaked into his dad’s garage and found pieces of plywood and discarded planks to cover the trench with a roof and then shovel the dirt back on top. We became humanoid ants tunneling all over the field. Not only did we now have a fort to hang out in, but it was also our secret hiding place. Of course, the tunnels were dark, so we gathered small emergency votive candles or sabbath tapers from our houses and sneaked them out along with matches unbeknownst to our parents. The candles were placed in small niches carved into the walls of the trench, giving light to the area. We would make up stories about the battles to come or the mission at hand. We used our imaginations, drawing from our comic book experiences of superheroes and adventure book readings. We were never bored with all the neighborhood activities we created. The only electronics around would be a small transistor radio someone would bring out to listen to a ballgame or the latest rock and roll songs on our favorite AM radio station. Although we never named our little group, I like to think back to it as The Dirt Clod Club since it brings a smile to my face. For children growing up in the late 1960s and early 1970s, life was innocent. We envisioned limitless opportunities simply by tapping into our imagination. There were three network TV stations and a few independents channels, and everyone would watch the same shows and talk about them the next day at school. Everyone seemed to have the same Schwinn bicycle to ride to school, and the only variation was the color of the bike and a single or banana seat you rode on. When we got tired of getting clobbered with dirt clods, we would ride our Schwinn Sting Rays all over the San Fernando Valley. We rode to the park, to the creek, and even to Universal Studios 12 miles away. At least once a week, my neighborhood buddies and I would ride over to the gas station and ask if they had any STP stickers. We later found out it stood for Scientifically Treated Petroleum, but we did not care we just thought the logo was cool to put on our school Pee-Chee folders. At times we would ride to the local liquor/convenience store and buy the latest MAD magazine or a pack of TOPPS baseball cards with a stick of hard gum inside the package. Bazooka bubble gum was cheap, so we bought a lot, chewed big wads, and blew large pink bubbles until they popped over someone’s face. It was hysterical fun. Occasionally we would ride our bikes up to the TG&Y five and dime variety store to see what new toys had arrived. Skateboarding became a bigger thing when polyurethane wheels were created. There were no golf cart trails or hills we could not traverse. As we got a bit older my friends and I would sneak into the Busch Gardens theme park which was two blocks away. We learned to creatively gain entrance under or over the fence. Sometimes we would slide down the walkway at the end of the monorail tour and enter the park. We were often caught by the security guards, but by the very next day, we would find a new way to get in. Once inside we would ask for a clean, new paper cup for water and then find discarded cups of beer on tables with a swig or two left. We would pour that backwash into our clean cup and drink it away. We were not thinking about hygiene, we were thinking about free sips of beer. There was often live musical entertainment at the park. I remember seeing and hearing Lou Rawl’s soul music and David Clayton Thomas of Blood, Sweat, and Tears performing there. We would sometimes open the door to the shack where they stored the Anheuser bald eagle mascot costume, and one of us would put it on and walk around the park. Other times we would hide in the bushes along the river boat ride and shake the bushes or make loud bird sounds to scare the tourists. I once attended the rowing crew regalia between UCLA vs USC crew on the wide section of the river. The next day I was in a photograph cheering the boats on in the local paper. I still have this. I had a crush on a girl, so I asked her to go on a date with me to Busch Gardens. She could only go if her sister went along. I asked my little brother to join us thinking that it would settle everything. I dressed in my favorite Hawaiian shirt, paired it with a puka-shell necklace, corduroy trousers, wallabies, and finished off with a hint of my dad’s Old Spice cologne. I had saved enough money for the entrance fee and food but with the addition of my brother and his date tagging along I was short on funds, so I had to sneak everyone under the fence to get inside the park. I still remember my date and her sister’s light-colored Chemin De Fer pants covered with dirt on their backsides from sneaking into the park under the fence. I was such a romantic. As we grew up, we left the secret fort behind yet never bothered to refill the dirt we dug out. One day I saw a tractor plowing under weeds in that same field. I guess the wood on top of the fort and the soil covering it was not strong enough to hold that tractor. One second it was there and the next it broke through the secret fort roof and all I could see was the top of a man’s head just above the earth. I am not certain how he managed to remove the tractor from the trench, but by the next day it had disappeared. New dirt was replaced in the trench of the secret fort, yet the memories could not be covered up. These early experiences provide valuable lessons. I learned to fill in the trenches I created. Imagination is the world’s second greatest nation, the idea of America being the first. Our inventiveness helped me envision the possibilities of what might exist and spend more time being curious. And lastly, as I get older, I remind myself not to take everything so seriously. I try to find time for play whenever I can. I have learned to appreciate and value those serendipitous moments. Unearthing all these stories of my formative years brought back the theme song Those Were the Days from the acclaimed television program, All in the Family. This time of year, when you gather to give thanks to your family and friends, one of the greatest gifts you can give are the stories of your past to pass along. They do not have to be heroic sagas or have defining moments. They can be simple memories of a time others can enjoy listening to and learning about. It is easy to do. Simply begin by saying, I remember when. https://kimmonson.com/featured_articles/i-remember-when-stories-to-pass-along/?vgo_ee=3DsnFRIyuxgQGfOcsoCspkS4jNhTUrBHtGKlPryU3Oqzfwn0AGvtc%2Bha%3A%2Fua4PLyNFI9%2BQdHv%2FWgJTRI4pis1UbRJ

Principles over Party

Two shoe salesmen were sent to a new territory to assess its market potential and report back to their company. The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential, nobody wears shoes here.” The second salesman reported back, “There is unbelievable potential, nobody wears shoes here.” This story is a concise example of a situation that may be viewed both as an obstacle or an opportunity. A few years ago, a friend leading my county’s political party got a call from a Boulder, Colorado high school politics teacher. The instructor was inquiring if someone would be interested in speaking to his class about our political party platform to his students. As a recognized speaker within the party, my name was provided to the instructor, who subsequently extended an invitation to me. With a bit of hesitation and many questions I queried what the instructor had in mind. He explained he wanted to get his students to think for themselves about all the local political party platforms so they could understand the different public policy positions and learn to be good civic citizens. I accepted the opportunity. The first year I did the presentation I did it from a historical perspective. I began by greeting the students at the door of the classroom and shook each of their hands, I looked them in the eye and said, “Hello, I’m Brad, what’s your name?” and handed them a booklet with the Declaration of Independence and United States Constitution. The students were polite and about one third of the class seemed receptive to my message. They asked engaging and challenging questions. Upon reflection, I recognize that my presentation focused extensively on facts and figures, which resulted in insufficient time being allocated for additional questions. I should have incorporated more stories that made a point. Over the past two years, I have modified my program following previous experiences. My presentations typically last 15-20 minutes and focus on the principles of freedom associated with the founding of the United States. Our country was established on the idea that all individuals are created equal, reflecting the concept of human equality. The American Founders and Framers debated and acknowledged the concept of universal, equal, natural rights for everyone. Citizens provide consent to be governed and to have their rights protected by elected representatives. These representatives operate within defined limits, forming a constitutional government based on the rule of law intended to protect individual rights and property equally. Historically, this concept has served as the basis for our major political parties. Upon my arrival at the classroom, I placed a poster on the wall listing the freedom principles just mentioned, yet I revealed them one by one and shared their significance. I opened by reciting a paragraph from Thomas Jefferson’s first inaugural speech from March 4, 1801, “…a wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government; and this is necessary to close the circle of our felicities.” This section of Jefferson’s speech concisely gives the reason for our form of government, which is to protect those universal, equal, natural rights of all men, meaning all citizens. It sets the stage for how I engage the students. Then at this point I opened the floor for questions, requiring the students to select one of the principles we discussed and tying their question to a freedom principle. This way the students must think about their question rather than base it on a preconceived notion or emotion. This approach encourages more in-depth discussion and solicits greater input from students by opening their perspectives on their questions. It allows for reflection before responding, promoting dialogue rather than one-sided communication. One hour goes by quickly and there are always more questions than the time allotted. A few students always stay behind to thank me and ask more questions or want to make a point. Some even ask for my contact information to send me more questions if they have them. I am happy to accommodate their desire to learn more. Notice I have not revealed which political party I am representing in this essay although you may easily guess. That is by design. The instructor does mention to the students the party I am representing in my introduction, but for the purposes here, my goal is to demonstrate that high school students are curious and want to think about ideas. They may not be ready to pick a political party, yet they do want to be challenged by concepts and information of “how to think, not what to think.” I am hopeful about this new group of students being raised in 2025. I see in their eyes and in their questions a desire to understand and find the universal truths of mankind. They are, in my experience, optimistic and want answers to understand the world around them. The answer to many of these young people’s questions of what it means to be human and exploring life’s complexities is by having more open dialog. My interaction with these students is not just speaking to them but helping them discover these principles as truths. I think there is unbelievable potential, like the second salesman said, “nobody wears shoes here.” https://kimmonson.com/featured_articles/principles-over-party/

I remember hearing a story about a young man who seeks advice from his teacher after repeatedly failing to reach his goals. The teacher gave him the task of carrying a lit candle to a tree a few feet away without its flame going out. The young man tried several times but each time, the wind extinguished the flame. The teacher explained that the flame represents the young man’s mind and his focus, and the wind symbolizes distractions. Success, the teacher said, depends on protecting one’s focus from distractions—just as one would shield a candle’s flame. The young man then understood the importance of focus, discipline, and concentration to achieve his goals. Like the young man in the story, I find myself being distracted by the conveniences and interruptions of modern life. A ping from a text. The ring of the phone. The knock on the door. Social media reels can trigger FOMO or fear of missing out. We are distracted by what has been referred to as the shiny object syndrome. The flashy, shiny thing in the corner of our eye that grabs our attention and causes us to become distracted by it. How does one focus on the important tasks that need to be done as opposed to the shiny object vying for our attention? First put yourself in a position not to be disturbed by these distractions. Turn your devices off or put them on “silent” or in another room. Place yourself in a quite environment. Wake up early in the morning before others arise in your household and invest time to read, write, reflect, and prepare for your day. Or if you are not a morning person do a similar routine in the evening before you go to bed and carve out 15 minutes of uninterrupted time and space for yourself. Years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a lecture by Carl E. Larson, Ph.D., a professor of Social Sciences at the University of Denver. In his book called Teamwork, What Must Go Right What Can Go Wrong he focused on the eight characteristic goals of an effective team. I will never forget his first point which is to be focused by having “a clear and elevating goal that serves as a guiding light.” An example he cited was President John F. Kennedy’s declaration in 1961 that the United States would put a man on the moon and bring him back safely by the end of the decade. That clear and elevated goal was achieved by what I call PDF, persistence, determination, and focus. Another way to think about focus is to imagine it as a distillery. I use this method when I write a speech or e-mail. In the distillation process the fermentation begins with the sugars from grains, fruits, and other base sources being converted into alcohol with yeast. Then, the fermented liquid is heated to separate the alcohol from water and other components which concentrate the alcohol. Often alcohol is aged to develop flavor and character. Then the product is bottled and sent to market. I use this distillation concept to concentrate and process my thoughts about a subject before I write them down. Then, I separate them by category or likeness. Finally, I take the time to break them down further into one or two words or the essence of the matter. Then, I can build a story or an example and package it around its base ingredients, allowing me to better explain it in its most relatable form. My business mentor Jeffrey Gitomer wrote in one of his monthly blog writings, “From Socrates to Samuel Smiles, to Orison Swett Marden, to Elbert Hubbard, to Dale Carnegie, to Napoleon Hill, to Earl Nightingale, to Jim Rohn – they all had their own way of saying THE SAME thing. Your thinking becomes your actions. And it is those dedicated, well-planned, and direct actions that lead to your outcomes. Your reality. Better stated, your success.” Intense focus leads to intense thinking on the things on which you are concentrating. By clearing away distractions you will help yourself get to your goal and to success. Once you can define your core focus so it becomes your guiding light, you can incorporate it into your being, thinking, and belief which will give you the “definiteness of purpose” which “is essential for achieving significant accomplishments in life,” wrote Napolean Hill in his opus, Think and Grow Rich. Concentrate on your goal day by day. With attention and action, your flame will shine brightly. Focus on your flame. https://soundcloud.com/thekimmonsonshow/9-11-2025-focus-on-the-flame-brad-beck-elaborates

In ancient Mesopotamia there lived a king by the name of Gilgamesh who went on an adventure to find immortality. On his journey he discovered that his true immortality does not rest on eternal life, yet on the impact he makes on others and the legacy he leaves behind. This is an old story about character, curiosity, and communication which leads to connection through personal reflection, and the importance of building meaningful relationships. The insight of this story is that building a legacy of contributions over a lifetime can lead to making significant contributions to the lives of other people. Character is something I find that is best explained in stories of the classic virtues. Temperance, being moderate in all things, prudence, having wisdom in your ideas and conversations, justice, being fair in all your dealings, and fortitude, having the courage to show up, speak up, and stand up. These virtues along with gratitude, honesty, integrity, and respect build a foundation of trust over time. As the Philosopher Ayn Rand wrote in The Virtue of Selfishness, “The man who does not value himself cannot value anything or anyone.” Curiosity is the idea that I most relate to in that it is a bridge between concepts that you may not be aware of. It may also lead to deeper understanding of the traditions of things known to you. Curiosity invites one to discover what is unknown and to look for those anomalies on the margins that are often missed. Asking questions and actively listening to find truth is a challenge that can lead to greater understanding. Being inquisitive and finding common bonds in areas of agreement can also lead to defining lines of opposition or different views. Having a genuine interest in learning new ideas from a different perspective brings serendipity to life. As Plutarch wrote millennia ago, “The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” Communication is an opportunity to express oneself clearly with concise words, meaningful body movements, and a vocal intonation that opens the audience up to an exchange of ideas and thoughts in a civil and respectful manner. Opening oneself to concepts or thoughts that may differ from one’s values can lead to a meaningful dialog. To build understanding with others one can recite the words in the “Prayer of St. Francis” which has the following line. “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand.” This reminds one that communication is a two-way endeavor. As Fredrick Douglas said, “Liberty is meaningless where the right to utter one’s thoughts and opinions has ceased to exist. That, of all rights, is the dread of tyrants… To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker.” Connection combines the elements of all three ideas above and bundles them for a stronger, more meaningful bond for personal and professional relationships. The overlap between character, curiosity and communication reinforces trust, understanding and mutual respect. Connections happen when one is consistent in dialog and deed. Being open to new and opposing ideas, to see the areas of agreement and areas where there is a differing of opinion will lead to personal growth and stronger relationships. As the great Harvey Mackay once wrote, “You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. People who feel like they’re being listened to feel accepted and appreciated. They feel like they’re being taken seriously and what they say really matters.” These four C’s of understanding foster a path an individual can traverse if they are open to learning, willing to be challenged, and can adapt to paradigms that shift. Yet, it all starts with being well grounded in the knowledge of oneself. Character is a foundation. Curiosity is a doorway. Communication is a structure. And Connection is the confluence of all these elements that covers and crowns this journey into a meaningful experience. Being intentional in improving these four C’s in one’s daily life can help a person secure greater happiness. As the Father of the American experiment George Washington once said. “Happiness depends more upon the internal frame of a person’s own mind, than on the externals in the world.” https://kimmonson.com/featured_articles/character-curiosity-and-communication-lead-to-connection/?vgo_ee=d6Z3jYcGfAmqYR%2BRnS8nqvwg%2B0qTOQl%2Fepb3UNBkN3J9pSkYRBnlX0%2B9%3AxZ7Snro0wyytwuY%2BZaAW9JhtPqxSPSi9

The Star Gazer

A man would star gaze every evening, walking to the outskirts of the town where the lights were dimmer. One night he was so fascinated by the abundance of stars in the nighttime sky he fell into a pit. Unhurt and unshaken, yet unable to climb out, he began to yell for help. A passerby heard his cries and came upon the star gazer and listened to his story. “My good fellow,” the man said, “while you were trying to seek the mysteries of the heavens, you overlooked the common things under your feet.” The passerby helped the star gazer out of the pit and gave him a life altering bit of wisdom. We often look up when we should be looking ahead, causing us to miss opportunities and avoid pitfalls. It is fascinating to dream and ponder the possibilities of far-off stars. I too ponder the mysteries of the universe by dreaming about what is beyond here and now. Yet, it is in day-to-day life that I find my full potential and the real opportunities of what is possible. Pondering a possible outcome is potent, yet it is in action that helps us achieve it. I remember when I was a kid there was a cartoon with a character that had an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other. They would fight for control over the main character’s attention. Life can be like this with dreams getting overcome by the practical things we need to do daily. My observations and reason guide me toward opportunities that, with hard work and the use of my mind, benefit me. It takes self-mastery, moral courage, and the practice of virtues to stay grounded. There are many diversions that can divide our attention and get us off track. Vices can be like a magnet pulling on our being. It takes a strong will and tedious work to overcome those animal appetites that deviate our good intentions. I find daily routines move me in a positive direction. I wake up early in the morning and recite positive phrases and have thoughts of success that prepare me for the day. I read a page or two of something that will inspire or inform me. I will often write down my own reactions to what I have read. It can be a paragraph or a page, but I challenge myself to write. I stretch and breathe deeply before I go to the gym to help strengthen my body as well as my mind. These are a few habits that I attempt to do daily. By doing this routine I have found it helps me meet the challenges of my day. I am no superhuman being. I have realized over time that if I complete these daily tasks, I tend to have a more successful day. I try to make the most of every minute because I realize time is limited and I want to invest it wisely. I do a lot of self-talk and give myself a small reward for meeting my goals. It is not always easy, and sometimes I miss the mark. Yet, I know if I do my best that day, I can get closer to the destination I set for myself. I also find being a member of a club or service organization and interacting with people helps build my skills and fulfills a need to listen, learn, and laugh with others. These groups I belong to align with my values and enhance life by rewarding me with immense satisfaction. I have observed that too many people have a void in their lives by not belonging to a meaningful group or organization. There are so many ways to get involved and find a charity or a cause that can provide countless opportunities for making a difference in your life and the lives of those you can impact. I know there are struggles people face. I empathize with those who have challenges and struggle with many of these debilitating situations that life puts in one’s way. I am grateful I have found a way I can address overcoming obstacles by doing these few routines and being involved in group activities to help me be and do my best. Dreaming and looking ahead is part of human experience. It needs to be encouraged and cultivated. However, I have found it is the luminous little daily activities that have helped me get to my own accomplishments. Yes, look up at the wonders of our universe, just be careful where you step. https://kimmonson.com/featured_articles/the-star-gazer/?vgo_ee

Music Strikes a Chord in Our Quest for Freedom

I enjoy listening to music whether it is live or recorded. I have collected music on records such as LP’s, 45’s, 78’s, CD’s, and cassettes. I even use the newest streaming technology which allows me to download music to my smart devices and take it with me anywhere I go. Streaming is convenient and inexpensive, yet I still prefer the rich sound of vinyl. I have been to hundreds of concerts and seen, heard, and experienced my musical favorites live. I have worked as a roadie in a country band and was lucky to be backstage and have personally met many artists. They all have one thing in common no matter what the musical genre. Their music all started with an idea. It may have started with a chord or a hook, but there was an idea ready to catch fire. A great song may get you to download a complete album. A great album may get you to buy a concert ticket to hear the music live. A great performance may make you a lifetime fan of the artist. It is the emotional connection of that idea that the fan is buying and how this makes them feel through the music. This is true in sales, a purchase we make or an idea we embrace. All sales start at the heart which leads to the head. Emotional connection is a powerful driver of our habits and success. Music is thought of as being universal and, like an idea, it can spread from person to person. Think about a song you heard in high school that you liked. You shared it with a friend and may have said, “Hey you have to listen to this song, it’s great.” And they did. This friend tells their friend, who tells another, and now you have some momentum in launching that song into a hit for that artist. Word of mouth exposure is the most effective way to get others to buy into your point of view. Think about a movie you like or a book you read or a restaurant where you enjoyed a meal and told friends and family. Your recommendation can have a huge impact on others if they trust you and you have credibility. Think what could happen if you were to treat the idea of freedom as you would when you have a cultural or culinary experience. The WOW factor could be infectious. What if you took some time to talk, write, and discuss how freedom, like music, makes your life better? I have talked to many younger people who do not understand the idea of freedom. They do not see how people have had to fight for it to preserve it. They take it for granted. Freedom has not been the normal progression throughout history. The natural order of things, especially in a political sense, has been dominated by kings, chiefs, clans, tribes, religious theocracies, or central power brokers who rule through fear and force. It has only been in this one exceptional place that people have been free to rule their own lives and property because of the rule of law. From Jerusalem to Athens to the Angolshpere, the manifestation of freedom, capitalism, free markets, property, and individual rights have been fused together and coalesced through the American experiment. There is an adage which states that four strangers who fight a lion will die, but four friends who fight a lion will win. It is time to find or create groups capable of mutually supporting one another to plan together, write together, speak to others, and become activists for freedom by writing, telling, and sharing your story of freedom with family, friends, grandchildren, and acquaintances. This can be a catalyst for others to share their freedom story as something we should be talking about and how it allows for human flourishing. When you sit around a campfire you often tell stories and sing songs with friends and family. A campfire must be stoked occasionally for the embers to flare and the heat to warm those around it. Music, like the idea of freedom, can strike a chord if properly nurtured. The great Duane Allman who formed the Allman Brother Band once said, “There’s a lot of different forms of communication, but music is absolutely the purest one.” Freedom makes it all possible. https://kimmonson.com/featured_articles/music-strikes-a-chord-in-our-quest-for-freedom/?vgo_ee=cOYF0CjDoWqp1nzq7oqu09LzNb4lNxdaR61JJNMLCWatmAC0q9RoiLmh%3AFzFzKbqKbu72C56Pi4VnjRZnGP0jh8Sn

Wisdom Listens

“That you may be strong, be a craftsmen in speech. For the strength of one is the tongue, and the speech of one is mightier than all fighting.” – Ptahhotep In the twenty years that I have been in Toastmasters, I have had the opportunity to evaluate hundreds of speeches presented by my fellow club members. Giving critical feedback helps a speaker understand what they did well and what they can work on to improve. A good evaluator balances being helpful and encouraging while providing an honest reaction to the speaker’s presentation. Giving an evaluation in Toastmasters is an improvised activity that is given in three minutes or less and takes practice and excellent listening skills. The ability to listen is a fundamental skill that has been essential to human communication since the dawn of civilization. Offering helpful ideas on what you heard, felt, and thought about the speaker’s presentation can be enhanced by the way the speaker uses their vocal intonation, body movements, facial expressions, and use of words. Engagement through the transferring of an emotion to your audience is key. There are not any courses on listening, only speaking, however the wisdom of listening has a long history. Kim Monson Show Sponsor Roger Mangan State Farm Insurance In ancient Egypt in the late 25th to mid-24th century BCE, lived a city administrator and vizier (first minister) to the King of the Old Kingdom. His name was Ptahhotep and his sayings were transcribed as one of the earliest known pieces of philosophy and wisdom. Written in an ancient hieratic style, this compilation is considered the oldest collection of moral advice and virtue practices. In his book, “Instruction of Ptahhotep,” are his timeless maxims that not only benefit a Toastmasters evaluator, but anyone in school, business, politics, or non-profits who wish to improve their success by listening. Here are just a few of his ideas: “Listening benefits the listener.” “Only speak when you have something worth saying.” “He who listens becomes the master of what is profitable.” “To listen is better than anything, thus is born perfect love.” “God loves him who listens. He hates those who do not listen.” “If he who listens, listens fully, then he who listens becomes he who understands.” “If you are a man of authority, be patient when you are listening to the words of a petitioner. Do not dismiss him until he has completely unburdened himself of what he has planned to say to you.” Ptahhotep’s maxims on listening were derived from a lifetime of experiences and taught ethical and moral guidance to young men and nobles in dealing with human interaction and governance. His words taught humility, justice, and truth by avoiding unnecessary arguments and practicing self-control. Learning not to immediately respond and asking clarifying questions to let the speaker know you were listening can pacify a tense or contentious situation. This is sage advice which works well in most interactions, such as when you are trying to persuade others or have an audience accept your position. Hearing critical feedback can be difficult and makes one feel exposed and vulnerable. It can make a world of difference to one’s speaking abilities if they are open to a peer’s observations. This happens with trust and empathy when giving an evaluation. There are many ways to give feedback, and the most often used in the Toastmaster’s process is referred to as “the sandwich technique.” This entails offering praise on what a speaker does well and encourages them to do more of it. Next, suggest ideas on ways to improve or do something different. Then, offering some closing praise to encourage and help the speaker feel good about their presentation. The beginning and the closing of an evaluation are like slices of a loaf of bread, smooth and rounded. The middle is the meat of the evaluation and where the growth can occur. Personally, I like the “manure method” of evaluation which is the opposite of the first. Since I am a more experienced Toastmaster I am looking for brutally honest comments, therefore I encourage an evaluator for my speeches to give me “the stuff that rolls downhill.” Then, observations on what I did well. Finally, more of the “stuff that hits the fan” to help me grow faster. With a speaker’s permission one can also record a video so a speaker can watch and study their process. One’s tolerance for hearing truthful feedback determines which evaluation structure is best for a speaker. I believe it is the listener/evaluator who mostly gains from this process by artfully using their active listening skills and observations to help the speaker advance and improve. The listener/evaluator must incorporate all their faculties such as hearing, observing, feeling, and connection to the content of the speaker. Ptahhotep’s maxims combined with these Toastmasters techniques are useful for anyone who wishes to be a better listener and communicator. The musician and guitarist Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”